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Sunday, August 21, 2011

REtraction!

Well friends I'm some what embarrassed of my last post.

See I'm one of those people that need to TALK, JOURNAL, CRY, VOCALIZE my feelings!

So you all just happened to be the audience that I picked that day to hear my thoughts and complaints. I dont want this blog to be about my life problems but I'm glad I shared because I know I had friends praying for me and that's what this community is for!


The things I've learned this week.
~I'll survive...haha seriously, I know that I won't be given more than I can bare. God is so patient and kind. It warms my heart because I know even though I'm so weak, but He is so so so strong and will help me accomplish anything!


~Tonight at church the sermon was about suffering. I'm glad we tried the evening service because I needed this message! I was reminded that suffering should not be a surprise to us because Jesus told us that in this life we will have trouble...but to TAKE HEART for He had already over come the world.

~We are to COUNT IT JOY when we face trials of many kinds...


Basically to sum it up I'm remembering that in Jesus Christ:

ALL MY PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED


Looking forward to vacationing here next summer in Colorado with my family!


Thursday, August 18, 2011

"Normalness"

The Lack of Normalcy
Brian and I have almost been married 10 months! This year has gone by soooo fast! On one hand though I still feel like I'm waiting for our lives to begin....
I have become worn down and so depressed about our schedules. Why do we both work a job that keeps us at levels of high stress, zero social life, limited days off, and an upside down sleeping schedule? Oh yeah because we have bills to pay! haha...

I keep telling myself this is just a phase of life, that this season will pass, but I'm ready NOW for it to be over!

I've become discontent and tired. And I don't like this in my heart.


These are a few of the NORMAL things I dream about:

~Waking up in the morning and enjoying coffee before our day starts

~Weekends/ Holidays

~Bible studies or other weekly hangouts (sewing class, Zumba ect!!)

~Dinners that I MAKE with REAL food every night

~Church service every Sunday without almost falling asleep because I've been up 12hrs

~No Court or trials on our days off together...just to be let down and disappointed by the Courts System

~ Developing relationships with my friends

Even though we are married I hardly see Brian at all. We both have our own hobbies to occupy us while the other person is gone. We each spend time with our separate families when we are lonely. We even eat separate meals or none at all.

Not to mention we are still new at trying to figure out how to be a loving, serving, sacrificing spouses...and I get very limited time to practice this. When we are together, most of the time all he gets from me is tired, needy, and complainy...

Needless to say I know our marriage is suffering. I think every part of my life is suffering...
I became a Police Officer to help people, I truly have compassion for the people I work with. I know I'm making a difference and I know I'm helping people...but is it worth it in the end?


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope, and a future." Jer 29:11

Thursday, August 4, 2011

DOGGIES!

The theme of this summer is DOGS!
Brian and I were offered several opportunities to dog sit.

First week: we watched two dogs and one of the poor animals had just had surgery and an ear infection... Poor guy hated me cause I had to give him medicine and clean his ears out twice a day. No dog likes anything in their ears!!

Second week: Our "niece" Maddy (Cindy's puppy) she is by far the hardest challenge! Maddy is a Mastiff/ Great Dane and still a rambunctious puppy! She is not the most intelligent animal and has a hard time focusing to obey. She is too big for our apartment and having a hard time adjusting to our sleep schedule. Taking her for a walk is quite the workout cause she PULLS you EVERYWHERE! She is so big!
Third week: Later this month we will be watching FOUR dogs, a chocolate lab, a border collie, a bull dog and a "toy poof" dog (as I like to call those little ones). We have a hands full but love having these little furry guys in our lives!

Its nice to have an avenue to hug and love on furry friends!