These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster!
I have an exciting story to share about my husband but I want to dedicate an entire post for that...so that will come out later this week.
Lately I had been measuring my success (thats what I like to call it) on my different performance levels and I had been failing miserably!
I've been trying to be a perfectionist at two full time jobs!
My "wife" job wasn't going so well. I couldn't keep up with the laundry or house cleaning. I wasn't making meals for us. I was burning or destroying the meals I did try to make. And I felt tired and unorganized all the time! There for I ate "snacky" foods or cheese and bread (my favorite) and my poor husband was eating out every night for work or drinking shakes.
So I felt like a failure for a long time and hating feeling out of control.
THEN at my other job I was so emotionally upset from my home life that I was drained and tired all the time! Not a happy or energetic police officer that I want to be! And my supervision wasn't happy with me either...ahhh failure!
But I learned something...I have to still accept myself for whoever I am because no matter what God and Brian still love me! It was very hard coming to the realization that I'm still lovable even in failing. Just because I don't FEEL like loving or accepting myself doesn't mean I'm not still just as valuable and lovable to God =)Also can I mention that Brian has been helping with the cooking and cleaning now to serve me!! I came home the other night and the laundry was folded!!! Incredible haha
So now I feel a great difference! And I'm peaceful and content. It takes time to learn these jobs...I just started being a wife three months ago and police officer 1 1/2 years ago....whew its ok if I'm still learning =) And God is always good...no matter how I feel, that doesn't change!