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Monday, January 31, 2011

Measure of My Success?!
These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster!

I have an exciting story to share about my husband but I want to dedicate an entire post for that will come out later this week.

Lately I had been measuring my success (thats what I like to call it) on my different performance levels and I had been failing miserably!

I've been trying to be a perfectionist at two full time jobs!

My "wife" job wasn't going so well. I couldn't keep up with the laundry or house cleaning. I wasn't making meals for us. I was burning or destroying the meals I did try to make. And I felt tired and unorganized all the time! There for I ate "snacky" foods or cheese and bread (my favorite) and my poor husband was eating out every night for work or drinking shakes.

So I felt like a failure for a long time and hating feeling out of control.

THEN at my other job I was so emotionally upset from my home life that I was drained and tired all the time! Not a happy or energetic police officer that I want to be! And my supervision wasn't happy with me either...ahhh failure!

But I learned something...I have to still accept myself for whoever I am because no matter what God and Brian still love me! It was very hard coming to the realization that I'm still lovable even in failing. Just because I don't FEEL like loving or accepting myself doesn't mean I'm not still just as valuable and lovable to God =)
Also can I mention that Brian has been helping with the cooking and cleaning now to serve me!! I came home the other night and the laundry was folded!!! Incredible haha

So now I feel a great difference! And I'm peaceful and content. It takes time to learn these jobs...I just started being a wife three months ago and police officer 1 1/2 years ago....whew its ok if I'm still learning =) And God is always matter how I feel, that doesn't change!

Here's a sweet picture of us the day we cut down our Christmas hair cut here =)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Whiter than Snow

Police Officers wear this black band over their badge when a Hero as fallen...needless to say I'm wearing this band again.

Dear friends,

What a week! These past six days have been quite challenging...not really for me personally but for my brothers in blue.
The start of my 6 day 3-11 shift started with the "explosive" packages that were sent to some of our State Buildings. Then for the next few days it went downhill as we dealt with shootings, fatal accidents, and a stabbing. Its sometimes overwhelming the amount of sin and brokenness in the world. Brian and I have been sharing stories of what are departments have been getting and we both wonder how we got ourselves into this job and what are God's reasons for having us here.
Then tonight on my final night of work after a hectic and sad started snowing. Reminded me of the verse that states, (don't have a Bible with me...) Though are sins are as red as blood he will make us whiter than snow.

How we need thee Prince of Peace...

Saturday, January 1, 2011


This was the year of transition!
In January:

Brian, me, Cindy and Tim took a two week road trip to Colorado. We faced three blizzards driving across the county but nothing could stop the adventure! We spent a few days living like pioneers with no running water in our cabin the mountains. Such a good time...

February: The blizzard of a century hits Maryland!! I worked all through that storm and was driven around in Army Humvees cause our cruisers didn't cut it! Brian and I went to The Charthouse in Annapolis for our Valentines Day meal...I'm overboard in love with him at this point!

March: We spend a weekend in Philly with his Grandparents and Brian purposed in the train station!!! A new leaf is turned...

Cindy and Tim get married!! The Atwells are quite the couple and have an amazing and fun wedding! I'm now living by myself and start missing those sister times...

April: Not sure what happened this month...haha Happy Birthday Brian!

I got changed to a new post...from Pasadena to Arnold. I love the new guys I'm working next to.

May: Janet came home for a little bit. We celebrated our friend Julie Nardi's wedding!

June: Brian and I took a vacation with his family to Cape May NJ. His family has gone here every year for over the past 10 years. Loved the beach! Bunny Josie died. Bunny Pongo ran away...haha left with one sweet bunny Belle

July: once again I don't remember much of my life is just WORK and it all bleeds together... I do remember Brian and I watch the fireworks in Bowie =)

August: Janet came home again! I loved having my sister stay with me. We started cleaning, organizing and painting the home. She hosted an awesome Bridal Shower for me!!

September: The house is sold! My mom and I spent hours packing and moving things. My dad also really helped with the yard work and painting. It was hard to say goodbye to my home of 24 years. My family's gathering place for holidays and all the memories from my childhood.
But it was comforting to know I would be starting a new family with Brian!

October: Best month! Unpacked my life into a small apartment and got ready for our wedding! The best day of my life. Brian's expression when he saw me walking down the aisle was priceless and I have treasured that memory.

November: Honeymoon! Colorado, our family cabin, 5 Star Hotel in the mountains, Snow, Glenwood Springs natural hot pools, and the Coors Light Factory and stayed at Janet and Keith's new home! Wow we were so blessed!

December: We cut down our first Christmas tree together! Decorating and shopping was the most fun I've ever had cause I did everything with my best friend! We did Christmas devotions everyday and memorized the scriptures that correspond with the Birth Story. Makes my heart so happy!

JAMES OWINGS ATWELL (baby Jimmy) was born and I helped Cindy give birth! Brian and I love being Aunt and Uncle =)

I have learned and lived so much this past year...

Getting engaged, moving, and getting married were quite big adjustments for me and Brian has been patiently loving me all along the way.

I love being married to Brian more and more everyday...